Don’t know what to do

After leaving Beijing in spring 2011 I have always been thinking of the friends and people I won’t be able to see any more on a regular basis.

Though we did not meet every week it was good to see them every once in a while for a cup of coffee or a walk in one of Beijing’s parks.


Some of them had become close friends and we often had talks about personal topics I did not share with everyone. Also they allowed me a deeper look into their private life, introducing unknown aspects of life as a Chinese.


Until to the end of last year I used to chat with most of them almost every evening and we shared all the news that had come up during a day or the past weeks. Even though being separated by hundreds of kilometers it gave me the feeling that my friends were nearby and live pretty close to my new home.

However, things changed. Shortly after new year the contact to one of them became less frequent and after a while this was the same for the others. In case I didn’t send them a message in the evening or started a conversation, there was no response from their side.


Before it was a kind of a give and take: once I started talking, the next time it was them. Now it was either me looking for a conversation or no one. At first i thought they all might be busy and this will change again in a few days. Unfortunately I was proven wrong. I had to keep the entire thing going otherwise there was just silence.


In the meantime, I gave up writing messages as I feel tired of always being the first one saying „hello“. For me it seems quite unbalanced that it has to be me to start the conversation or otherwise there will be no communication at all.

The past two years it was different and I am wondering what made all of them change.

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